Because Instagram has become one of the most widely used photo sharing apps in the world today. So, obviously I would be on it, too! In fact, I think it’s safe to say that it may well be considered a world of its own with more than 300 million users, fondly known as Instagrammers, today.
After spending endless hours on the photo sharing app, I came up with a list of people we often come across while scrolling through our feeds, based on the kinds of photos and videos they upload on a regular basis. Fellow IGers, I present to you the 9 types of people you meet on Instagram, in no particular order!
The Selfie Queen
She pouts, winks, and feigns boredom, all in a self-taken photograph. But that’s not all. She has a #NoFilter selfie, a #NoMakeUp selfie, a #Sunglasses Selfie, a #Random selfie, a #BlackAndWhite selfie—basically, she invented the selfie and then improvised the invention with several new inventions. Lo and behold, she is the one true Selfie Queen. And she lets the selfies ‘reign’ down on your feed every single time you open your Instagram account. Phew!
P.S.: Selfies are more a girl-thing than it is a guy-thing; so, not being sexist. Just so you know.
The One with the Posse
They were probably the missing character from FRIENDS, or at least, they hope so. You see pictures of them laughing their arses off with random strangers (who are more often than not wondering what’s so funny anyway), passed out on a king-sized bed with a bunch of others and you’re secretly wondering what they did, posing with an endless row of people who look like they could be pulling a nerve from standing in that awkward way. Long story short, they have a lot of friends; a LOT. Never mind if they just met them yesterday or a few hours ago at that rave party they went to, as long as it makes for a could Instagram post. What are friends for, right?
The Overtly In Love Couple
They put up selfies of them cuddling with and kissing each other, being on a romantic date and the captions are full of words like, ‘soul mate’, ‘love’, ‘relationship goals’—you get the gist. They’re so in love and full of each other, you want to tell them to get a room without Wi-Fi (IN CAPS LOCK). They give us other couples some serious complexities about not being as open about a relationship as they are. Now you know why your girlfriend started fighting with you after going through Instagram; just saying. Be aware for when you might see the sudden proposal picture flash on your feed, out of the blue. And then try not to throw your phone at your own significant other.
The Animal/Pet Lovers
Fur, tails, four-legs, snouts and claws—you name the animally stuff and it’s right there on their feed. In fact, it’s so out there, you can almost smell the animal through your Instagram! Some of them might even go out on a limb and dedicate an entire Instagram account to their pets, or animals. We end up seeing these cute little animals being all cuddly, fluffy and furry. And we end up wanting to hug those little animals so tight, PETA might have a problem with it later.
What they try to show: How they’re such animal lovers and care givers. What we see: Is that a stuffed toy? Is that suffocation? What is that thing? Should PETA be involved?
The Gym/Health Freak
There it is, that beautiful picture of those abs in the mirror, with a white towel hanging around the neck after a nice shower, or swim at the gym. There is also that sexy gym gear fitted snugly and at all the right curves and angles. You see them doing pull-ups, push-ups, lifts, squats and God knows what all other moves that make you feel so embarrassed, you don’t even want to finish that cookie you were eating. I mean wasn’t it bad enough you sucked at sports in school, now you have to live with this? Inferiority complex, here I come!
The Unapologetic Foodie
Their Instagram feed is filled with elaborate looking dishes that make your mouth water so hard you want to grab the raw vegetables from your refrigerator for lack of anything better. From Indian to Italian; Mexican to Chinese, this person’s got it all covered. They make even the most strong-willed of people want to screw their dietary plan and binge eat the next thing they can get their hands on. And why is it that whatever they eat looks that good on a plate? If my food looked half as good as theirs, I’d never eat it out of fear of ruining it.
Basically, this person is very bad company for the health conscious folk trying to lose weight. *Unfollows after drooling over pictures one last time*
They’re like the birds of freedom and, secretly we all want to live their lives and be in their shoes, or backpacks (whichever)! From the lakes to the oceans; from the deserts to the mountains, they’ve been there, done that and seen it all! You know when they’re in Paris, or Australia, or Germany or Spain because they show you through their posts. You start to wonder if they have a designated residential address at all. You also wonder what’s their bank balance… don’t you dare lie! You would never unfollow them because some of you are living out your travel fantasies through them. It’s true… we’re going to Bali next month!
Books-check. Colourful stationary-check. Fancy MAC-check. White pristine work desk-check. Fresh flowers in a sober vase-check. Starbucks-check. iPhone-check. Notepad-check. This is all you need to be the typical workaholic instagrammer. Their photo captions are all about how they are getting shit done today, or how they pulled an all-nighter, or how they’re just so busy #DND because nothing says busy like an Instagram post does! Then again, no one’s ever too busy for an Instagram post, I guess. They make you want to quit your job and throw a tantrum because somebody’s got a fancy job and it’s not you! Go ahead and double tap their posts because of the awesome stationary or the rad electronic gadgets; just don’t comment ‘cause, you don’t want to disturb them from their busy sched. *Smiles like an angel*
This person is a perfect combination of the above mentioned types and, might I add, is also a rarity. There’s no hashtag abuse, excessive tagging or oversharing. This person will not give you complex issues or flood your feed every time you check your Instagram. This person, usually has it all together and knows not to go overboard with the posting. After all, it’s just an app and, at the end of the day, life happens when you’re off the app instead of on it. Agreed?
So, which of the above categories do you fit into?
To see what kind of Instagrammer I am, take a look at my feed here! 🙂