This post is about the opposite of body shaming. No, it’s not about embracing your body even if you’re fat. Although, you damn well should do that. This is about a particular breed of women – the naturally so-called “perfect” creatures. And here, I would like to add that, I belong in this category.
No, I am not trying to put myself above anyone here. I am just trying to give out a message that, hey, you know what? Even though you hate that I have naturally good legs, a flat tummy, great hair and the coveted thigh gap, I am still 100% natural and I didn’t pray to God to make me this way. I didn’t even have to starve to death for it (I actually eat like a pig, thank you very much). This is how I was made to be.
But that alone did not compel me into writing a blog post about anti-body shaming and the shamers who, by the way, need to do a little self-introspection of their own.
I was skimming through my Facebook news feed when something about thigh gaps caught my attention. My first thought: So, after flat tummies, curvy bums and arched backs, it’s the thigh gap? I read the post. It was by the Daily Mail UK and it said, “Women turn to $1,000 laser treatment in a bid to achieve impossibly thin upper legs.” Here’s a link to the post.
So, my second thought is: “Oh my God, I have a thigh gap. I didn’t know they were a sexy thing!” It’s true.
It feels good to be naturally blessed with a skinny physique, curved in all the right places and in all the right ways. What doesn’t feel good is the amount of pressure women are putting in just to get what I have by cutting their own bodies. What feels even worse is when tabloids and lifestyle websites criticize these women and these treatments and uphold fat women just because they are trying to prove a point and drive their own sales (Wake up, ladies. They don’t want to empower you. They just want profits). But, what feels worst is when someone puts up a troll post on your Facebook feed that says “Thigh gaps are for flamingos. Eat a cupcake. You’ll survive. (Promise).” Really?!
See for yourself:
I had to share my opinion. I had to let them know that I saw this and I was listening. No, I don’t feel like a fraud because I am extremely good looking or that I seem to have all the features that women seem to want to kill themselves for. I feel like I have been picked on and that’s not cool! I can’t help it if I am my very own version of perfect and love every bit of it. And others have no right to make me feel bad about it, period.
Through my comment, I hope to have spoken up for a huge number of girls who are being body shamed for no fault of theirs at all. So, we were made this way. Yes, we binge eat, we don’t put on extra kilos in all the “wrong” places and we love it! Deal with it.
I didn’t know that women would look at me as a source of constant envy and that I would be subject to questions like, “What’s your diet?” or “How did you get that flat tummy?” or “Where’d you get your hair done?” I don’t even visit a parlour more than once or twice a year. It’s true; now go and judge me all you want! I was born with these features. God blessed me as he did you, in your own way.
Today, the image of a woman’s body feels like it’s been entirely screwed up. At one end, you have people criticizing magazine Photoshop which I get because these magazines have unreasonable standards of beauty that are totally fake! What I don’t get is this: Posts that crop up on the internet ever so often body shaming and body eulogizing, at the same time. Didn’t get it? I will explain.
International fashion magazine, Cosmopolitan has these online polls and posts about the right kind of sizes for plus-size models. All kinds of blogs come up with these posts that criticize these fashion magazines because they put too much pressure on women to look good all the time, every time. Dove brings out ads for women to step out without any makeup. And then there are lingerie ads that promote fat women.
My question: What on Earth are you trying to prove? Are you trying to generate this image of your brand that you are so impartial that you don’t see differences just to boost your sales? Do me a favour and don’t answer the second question. We already know that one.
Yes, I am angered. I am deeply peeved. Why? Because suddenly women – young, old, skinny, healthy and fat have started depending on these brands and online posts to make them feel good about themselves. That’s not why you and I were created.
We were all created differently; each of us with a sense of beauty, very unique to us. Why do we let this beauty be questioned by a bunch of tabloids that only look at profit margins, anyway?
Wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and smile that beautiful smile. Embrace your curves, edges, scars, flaws and perfections. Yes, that’s the word I used. We are perfect just the way we are. Don’t let the magazines, the polls, the tabloids or anyone else tell you any better.
It doesn’t matter if you go to the parlour once in a year or every day of the year. It doesn’t matter whether you diet or you binge eat. It doesn’t matter whether you have a flat tummy or if you don’t feel comfortable wearing that bikini just freaking because. No one has the right to invade your personal space. No one has the right to creep into your mind and make you feel bad about the choices you make for physical appearance.
Just, please don’t go under the laser unless it’s a major operation and one of your senses is at risk. You get the point, right? Just love yourself of your own accord and not according to the standards set by a bunch of stupid and insecure people who are out to get you anyway.
Just let women be!
Feel free to leave your thoughts on this piece. If you like it and can connect with it, do share it and spread the word. This message needs to be sent out loud and clear.