I’m no expert when it comes to matters of the heart. But, let’s be honest, after having this heart wander amongst the souls of the heartless, more times than I’d like to admit, I have learnt a thing or two about love.

  1. Love is not a drug – Many would, indeed, argue with this statement and to each, his/her own. But personally, I feel that we diminish and undermine the power, purpose and significance of love by calling it a mere drug. The dictionary defines a drug as ‘A substance that has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body, in particular.’ And love cannot be ‘ingested’ or administered. Au Contraire, the dictionary defines love as ‘An intense feeling of deep affection’.
    And while a lot of you would agree to disagree with me here, I’d like to point out that while you get addicted to a drug, you can only get used to someone’s love and affections. You buy drugs. Try doing that with love!
  2. Love is a fairy tale/movie – I kid you not, mature adults. At least, not when it’s the right kind of love. Yes, there is such a thing as an ideal ‘one true love’ that all of us dream about and many believe to be fabled. But, guess what? It’s true and it exists. Brianna Wiest, author, The Truth About Everything, writes, “You’re drawn to them inextricably and passionately and senselessly. You were taught this is what the fairy tales are made of: seeing someone and being overwhelmed with knowing. You figure out the truth eventually.”  It’s all a matter of time and destiny. If you believe, it’s bound to happen. So, believe it and trust that it will find you, most probably when you’re just sick and tired of the whole dating-jilting rut that you’ve been circling endlessly and want nothing else but, out! Only a few lucky people in the world really experience this kind of love because it takes an idiot to know the pros and cons of being and giving everything in love without truly expecting much back in return. It’s like throwing a boomerang into a black hole in outer space. You don’t know if it’s coming back out again. You just don’t. But it’s a leap of faith and you take it. Hoping, all the while, for the best outcome.
  3. Love is Not a compromise – So, don’t treat it like one. You either love the person enough to do the most dreadful things for them, with the happiest state of mind; or you don’t love them. Period. And, if you don’t love them, do yourself (and them) the biggest favour and get out because if you can’t love them, you have absolutely no right to hurt them. None. At. All!
  4. Love hurts – But, it feels so damn good! Personally, I think it’s the only time when you hurt, bleed, cry and don’t give a damn about the pain – I mean this both, physically and emotionally. You feel this excruciating need to be with that person, to rip out your fragile little bleeding heart and show how it beats only and only for them. It doesn’t matter if you end up losing a vital organ in the bargain.
  5. Love supersedes and intercedes all things – You know that moment when your nosey relative is annoying you and you think of the guy/girl you love? Or that moment when the workload is piling up on your desk and you just can’t stop thinking about the last cheesy conversation the two of you shared? Yes, that’s what I’m talking about. You consider and behold your love for one another as the most important thing; is the ends and the means to everything; as the foundation of your existence. You know you do! Or that moment when you want to lose your temper and fire away, or when you feel like giving up on the whole damn thing, what is the one thing that calls you out? Why, it’s love, of course. But you already knew that.
  6. Love is always the answer – Because you’re in a relationship with the person you love, everything that you say, do or feel, with regard to your partner, is because you love them. If the other person asks you why you thought it necessary to drive across the city, even if it took two whole hours, just to be with him/her, you’re bound to reply with an ‘I don’t know’ (if you’re the non-expressive type) or you’ll just go all out and say ‘Because I love you!’ Simple.  There is no other explanation. It’s illogical, irrational, stupid and plain idiotic. But, it feels so sound and right that there is no questioning it because, well, it’s straight from the heart! Love, my friend, is the only reason why you would do something entirely stupid and, even, partly life-threatening for someone else. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It just makes you braver than most!
  7. Love is an investment – It takes time, effort and a whole lot of patience. And it’s a two-way street. If you said the three little words to someone before they ever said it back, you wait for when they are ready to accept that love and give it back to you – a zillion times more! And it happens. Every moment that you spend together, every conversation that you have and every thought that you share with one another is all one big investment for the future. Because when you’re in love, you just can’t stop talking and thinking about doing so many things together. You talk about spending each moment, the rest of your life and every lifetime with that person. And that’s such a wonderful thing!
  8. Love is a promise – It’s the best and most important promise that you ever make to someone and, believe it or not, it will be one of the easiest promises to keep. Why? Because when it’s for love, it’s always worth doing. Unlike the heartbreakingly widely accepted myth that ‘Promises are meant to be broken’, love is about completion and fulfilment and being whole – by joining two hales of the soul together. And, I assure you, none of this was achieved by breaking promises. Come to think of it, if promises were meant to be broken, they wouldn’t be called promises. I am still looking for the dim-wit who started this ‘oh-so-fashionable’ promise-breaking trend. This person has definitely not known love in any form! Love is all about being able and brae enough to make that promise and stick to it, not because you have to but because you want to. It’s about commitment – in every form.

It’s only natural to be a little scared and apprehensive about love and all the feelings of attachment and commitment that it brings along with it. But, when you look into that person’s eyes and you just know, instinctively, that he/she is going to be that special someone, for the rest of your life, you will forget the fears and will take the plunge. You will then trust them enough, to fall in love with them because they will catch you, and hold you close.

For those of us who he experienced it and those of you who are yet to do so, love is the best damn thing that can ever happen to anyone!

 

 

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